Desire Is The First Step To Love
by Rei Nevermore
Summary: EdxEnvy, yaoi. Nothing explicit for the two first chaps. Lots of OOC-ness, too. Envy's wondering about the way Edward copes with his life while himself sinks deeper and deeper into darkness. It turns out that the Homunculus is getting a bit obsessed...
1. Envy's Obsession

_Hi everyone, this is my first attempt at english fanfic (yeah, I'm french), so sorry if my english isn't perfect. If a kind person would agree to beta-read it in order to correct it, I'll gladly accept their help. Otherwise, I just hope you'll enjoy this story, and any review will be like a great present to me...  
_

_Warnings: EdxEnvy, shonen-ai. Rated M for safety, nothing explicit. Lots of OOC-ness, I think... This is supposed to be a one-shot, but if some readers want more, I think I'll be able to do it (still have ideas to really conclude this...)_

_**Edit, 07/07/09: I actually AM going to write one or two chapters more. People told me they enjoyed this one and would be happy if I continued it, first; and second, I have a feeling of "not finished" every time I re-read my story, and it is bothering me a little, so I'm going to write at least one chapter more. For people who really want to read more, please be patient, I'm moving and won't be able to get Internet access for a week, not to say retrieve my pens and copybooks in order to produce something more or less good. Thanks to all readers and reviewers, be ready for the sequel!**_

_**Nevermore.**_

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Desire Is The First Step To Love

Chapter 1 : Envy's Obsession

Envy was watching. Watching was the only thing he could do, these days. Hidden in a tree, crouched on a thick branch, his still and thin body was almost completely concealed in the night. Only his eyes, deep purple barely visible against the widened pupils, sometimes caught a glimpse of moonlight, glowing in the dark. On the other side of the window, the room was very dimly lit, though Envy had very little interest in the room itself. The rectangular frame of the window let rather conveniently the silvery light of the moon fall exactly on the object of the Homunculus' attention. Long, blond bangs of hair out of their usual braid or ponytail, settled on the pillow beneath them, some of them hanging in the pale yet healthy tan of the face; eyes for now closed, hiding the liquid amber they seemed to be made of; lips slightly parted in sleep; stubborn frown in place even in Morpheus' land; metal arm reflecting faintly the light of the moon : here was the sleeping, sprawled form of Edward Elric.

And Envy still stared, his inner turmoil invisible in his motionlessness as he observed the young man, from head to toes and back again, as if… as if to carve his face and frame into his memory – _again_. Because it's not like it was the first time. The Sin had felt this strange fascination, this awkward attraction towards the young Alchemist since he first met him, knowing who he was, what he had done, and whose son he was. Even now, hidden in a tree watching, as usual, Envy didn't understand. He had expected another himself, in a way, the scars of Hohenheim's behavior visible as his were, another victim, broken, bitter, hateful, seeking revenge as an ultimate aim, revenge against the man who (let him die, and made him how he is – _what_ he is now) left him and his brother alone, and who was certainly the main cause of their mother dying. Envy expected a faint recognition of his own self, after all, his father left him all the same. After failing to bring him back to life completely, morphing him into a living creature, yes, but not human anymore. How could a being be called "human" without a soul ? Then, he left. He left him behind, not dead, but still not living, gaining a tattoo on his left thigh and incredible powers, but minus a soul. That's why the Homunculus expected someone being in the same state of mind as his own. Instead, he found Edward.

_Edward_. Yes, the boy resented his father for leaving without any explanation, and swore he would never forgive him. But it was far from the dark, deep, endless hatred Envy felt. The only thing he had been able to feel until meeting Edward. Whom, apart from that, was the Sin's complete opposite. Brash, clever, colorful, rude, stubborn, impulsive, Edward was so full of _life_ it hurt. Caring deeply for his younger brother Alphonse, he was trying to fix his past mistakes instead of letting revenge blind him. Envy had been stunned, when he had seen him. How the same act perpetrated by the same person could result in two personalities as different as night and day ? Envy still doesn't understand. After what he had been through, Edward still had the strength to care about what he had left and fight for what he thought was fair ? Nonsense ! Envy had been the simple embodiement of his namesake until now, and Edward's selflessness had made him want to pull at his long black-green hair and howl in frustration. At first.

At first, he had denied the feeling fiercely, claiming he hated Edward's guts just because of the blood (Hohenheim's blood) in his veins. Alphonse didn't even have a body, so all the Homunculus' attention was on his older brother. All Envy could see was Edward's determination that covered up such a great amount of pain so alike his own. His anger increased towards the young man, for it was his fault if Envy had started to catch a glimpse of something other than resentment and hatred. After a while of pondering and not being able to get Edward out of his head, one day he had gone and had started stalking the Alchemist without him ever noticing, with the hope that if he watched him a bit and learned more about him, he would stop polluting his thoughts. Tough luck, the more he observed him, the more his… _curiosity_ increased. So he continued, knowing very well that he was obsessing, but he couldn't help it. His "siblings" noticed, of course, that he was out more and more, and if Sloth and Pride didn't know much since they were in Central, Gluttony didn't give a damn about it, and Lust seemed to know way more than she was supposed to, Greed and Wrath weren't the type to let Envy do so without saying anything.

~o~

_"Hey Envy, what're you doin' ? Dante's gone for ages and won't come back till a while… No missions, no need to go out !"_

_"None of your damn business, Greed," snapped Envy, without even looking at him._

_"Oooooh… Goin' to stalk the Elric brat again, aren't you ? Ya know, if he turns you on that much, just go and jump him already…" Greed smirked, apparently very proud of his new way of teasing his "brother" about the way he kept stalking Edward._

_"Shut it up, Greed," Envy growled, stopping on his way to the front door, fists clenching. "And as I said before, this is none… of… your… FUCKING… business !"_

_And he stormed out, the other still grinning viciously._

_"You shouldn't tease him like that," said Lust, stepping slowly out of the shadows._

_"You're no fun, Lust," Greed mock-pouted. "You know he's been a bit odd since he saw that Elric brat. Don't understand what he sees in him, by the way…"_

_"Then let him deal with it himself. You don't want an infuriated Envy clawing at your throat, I swear you don't."_

_"No," said Greed rather seriously (as much as he was capable of, anyway), turning to go back into the dephts of the manor. "I just wonder why he's obsessing over the brat. And it's fun to make him go all angry and blushing because he doesn't want to admit he IS obsessing," he finished with another vicious smirk._

_Lust stared at his retreating back before sighing._

_" I don't think you would understand," she murmured quietly._

_Then she looked the way Envy had gone._

_"I hope you'll find what you're looking for, Envy…"_

~o~

Envy's fist clenched at the memory. Greed had been an infuriating bastard, back when Envy still bothered to answer back, trying to fight his need to justify his acts. _"Ya know, if he turns you on that much, just go and jump him already…"_ Besides the innuendo, he'd wondered if it wasn't the key, that what he saw in Edward attracted him in an odd way. He had tossed the thought aside, thinking he already had enough problems without adding another. Until about two weeks ago, when he was watching the young man from far away one day. Until he realized that, indeed, a part of him wanted to claim all of Edward's… _light_ for himself. Since then, he had become silent. Silent under Greed's crude comments about him and Edward. Silent in front of Wrath teasing him about becoming soft. Silent under the knowing gaze of Lust who seemed to understand more things about his behavior than he had been able to figure out himself. She had watched him when he denied what attracted him to Edward, she had watched him when he was telling angrily Greed or Wrath to fuck off and mind their own business, she had watched him when he became silent about it, and something in her eyes, something far more _human_ than it was supposed to be, told him she _knew_, she knew what himself refused to admit.

Right now, while Envy was watching Edward sleep, the Sin was tired. Tired of trying to deny these feelings, on which he couldn't yet put a name, tired of hatred, tired of revenge, tired of violence, tired of what had been his Homunculus' nature for more than four hundred years, but not really _his_. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about Edward, he knew that, still faithful to his namesake, he was _envious_ of Edward's _brightness_ and that he wanted a bit of it for himself. Yes, he was being egoistical. _So what ?_ The Homunculus suddenly found himself craving a touch, the feeling of this light brushing against his darkened self, just to see if he was able to feel something apart from hatred and pain, just to see if it could reveal something else for him to see, just to see if he could watch everything differently. He nearly was starving for it, he _desired_ it more than he wanted to kill when the bloodlust awoke, he _desired_ a touch of this light emanating endlessly from Edward…

~o~

_"This is impossible, Lust," Envy said hopelessly._

_The female Homunculus was the only one he trusted among them. She was deadly, yes, but somehow gentle, and when she had come to him after the first days of her transformation, scared, as much as she could be now, asking him, the oldest of them all, _what_ they were, _who_ they were, he had explained to her. But he knew she hadn't given up on her hopes to be human again, and he found out that he trusted her. Enough to talk a bit to her about what he felt towards Edward, when he realized he really was making him an obsession._

_"I can't stop thinking, I can't get him _out of my head_ ! I want to understand how he can be so _bright_, so full of life, and why this light is _attracting_ me in a way I couldn't even define !"_

_"Is it ? Or is _he_ ?"_

_"What do you mean ?" Envy asked, looking at her a bit nervously._

_"I meant what it means. If something in him attracts you, we can say that _he_ is attracting you."_

_Envy's eyes grew wide, and he began fumbling with words._

_"What ? I… No, I… Don't…"_

_"Think, Envy," she said with a small smile, but sincere. "That light you don't understand, it's a part of him. But it isn't just the light that you want, it's what makes him having it, right ?"_

_Envy didn't answer. He hesitated, closed his eyes, sighed, opened them._

_"Anyway, this is the strongest… _desire _I've ever had. I want to know what it feels like to _feel_…"_

_Lust's sudden movement surprised him a bit. She looked at him with wide eyes, then sighed._

_"Be careful, Envy… Desire is the first step to Love."_

~o~

_"Desire is the first step to Love."_ Lust's words were gnawing at him, but he ignored them. When he had first heard them, the notion in the sentence was so unknown he had to struggle to remember what it was. Love was a human thing, he wasn't human anymore, so why bother ? This was just a strange attraction, not something as drastic as… love… Leaving this train of thoughts, he jumped in front of the window, which was slightly opened to let the cool air of the summer night inside. He slid his long fingers into the small space and opened the window entirely, before landing soundlessly and gracefully on the floor, his eyes never leaving the object of his attention. Nothing moved. _Good._ He slowly approached the sleeping figure until he reached the edge of the bed, then just stared, before noticing that the young man was bare chest. Edward looked much more his age now that his scowl had decreased in his sleep. Envy's eyes trailed on the slightly tanned face, more relaxed than a moment before, the lips still a bit parted, the hair sticking to his cheeks and forehead, before scanning lower. The neck, the collarbones, the shoulders, the scar where the automail was connected to his nerves, the muscled torso and waist, the legs tangled in the blankets.

Even in the middle of the night, Edward radiated light and warmth. Envy slowly brought his hand near the sleeping face, feeling the warm sensation of body heat, then brushed slightly a strand of hair sticking between Edward's eyes. He sighed, then turned around and sat down, leaning against the wooden frame of the nightstand. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the presence on his left, then let out a dry chuckle, barely audible.

"I don't even know why I am here," he said softly so that Edward won't awake.

His tone was surprisingly gentle, even for himself. He leaned his head back, making a hollow sound when it hit the wood behind it. Envy didn't notice the golden eyes opening suddenly wide, and kept his own eyes closed.

"I don't even know what I am doing here," he repeated. "But I couldn't stop myself."

He sighed.

"I owe you, you know ? Even if I don't really understand why, if I hadn't met you, I wouldn't have realized some… things…"

The Sin let his head fall back on his chest, his hair covering his face nearly entirely. His eyes opened, staring at the space between his feet. The presence near him didn't move.

"I don't know what to do now… I knew who you were, but I didn't expect someone like… you. I know what you've gone through, life wasn't easy for you, and yet you still have this… _light_, because I haven't a better word, you still have the strength to fight and try and fix what you have done. Of course you feel pain, who wouldn't with a fate like that ? But you don't let it blind you, you don't let it break you, because even if you've been deprived of a lot, you stand by what you've left, and for that… Damned fuck, for that, I _admire_ you."

The same dry chuckle echoed softly in the room.

"I had always been seeking revenge, the only thing I felt was pain, after I became… what I am now. Then you came and broke everything, like the stupid reckless brat you are ! Suddenly I was facing something else than my own hatred, and, I have to confess to no one since I'm having a monologue, it scared me. I was intrigued too, just because I didn't understand where you found the strength to not become a bitter being like I am."

Another sigh.

"I just wanted to understand. I wanted to get to you, because you nearly made me realize there was something else than hating everyone's guts for nothing, and I wanted to see if I could see something when your brightness lights my darkness. I… wanted it, because I'm tired of it, being a Homunculus, hating people and all, and you gave me something resembling hope, and I didn't want to let it go. It was my strongest… _desire_ since… before."

Envy let out an amused breath.

"This word, again… Lust once told me that desire was the first step to love. I found it strange. Yeah, okay, you're attracting me in that odd way I couldn't name, but I don't love you… At least, I don't think so… Or I'm just stalling and, indeed, that human emotion found its way through me even if I'm not human, at least not anymore… Hell, I can't love you, that would be… weird."

He paused, for several minutes.

"Yeah, all I wanted was to steal a bit of your radiating light that attracted me so much for it was different, and I'm there, talking to you when you can't hear me, that's a bit like talking to yourself, isn't it… And also I think I'm getting soft, and that's definitely not good news, and I'm philosophizing about love, God, I knew I was becoming mental…"

A short pause.

"And I still don't know what the fuck I am doing here."

"Then why did you come in the first place ?"

Envy literally jumped at the sound of the soft voice coming from his left. He got on his feet yet he didn't know how, turned quickly and ended up staring into two golden pools. Edward was awake.

"You… You… You're awake ?" he definitely _not_ squeaked.

Edward sat up, face expressionless.

"As it seems."

"But… When…"

"Since _I couldn't stop myself_, I think."

Envy stared.

"So," he said slowly, "you heard…"

"Everything," said the blond Alchemist.

And the faintest of smirks ghosted his lips. Envy looked ready to flee.

"Don't leave yet," Edward told him. "Since you're here, we can still find you a reason for coming."

"I don't understand you." _Again_ was unspoken.

Edward sighed.

"Well, I didn't know you were feeling all what you said, but I'm not attached to our mutual hatred to the point of ignoring that if you had wanted to kill me, you'd have done so a while ago. You're not here to kill me, right ?"

"No."

"Good."

Edward grinned.

"So, what are you doing here, instead of thinking you're losing it and wondering about love ?"

Envy's eyes went wide.

"Just tell me you didn't hear that part…"

"I would, but I don't like lying."

The Sin sank to the floor, sitting cross-legged, burying his reddening face in his hands.

"I don't know why I came," he said, his voice a bit muffled. "I was like a fucking butterfly attracted against his will by the fucking candle."

"Have you just compared me to a candle ?"

"Yeah, you are," the Sin nearly spat. "You were prancing around, radiating your fucking _light_ and I couldn't do anything but wanting to get close to it."

"I didn't know I was so… radiant…" Edward said softly.

"Believe me, you are !"

Envy got up, standing near the bed, watching Edward who was still sitting, a thoughtful look on his handsome face. And no, Envy certainly didn't just add an adjective of any sort between _his_ and _face_. The Homunculus shivered. He felt the warmth of Edward's body. He felt it nearly caressing his own skin. He felt this goddamnit _light_ stretching its metaphorical fingers towards him, drawing him close, clouding his mind and making him stumble a step forward. Edward looked up at him quizzically.

"I know why I came," said Envy dreamily, bending over the other boy. "I wanted…"

His arm stretched out, the palm of his hand ghosting over Edward's face, feeling the warmth.

"… to know if…"

His knee found support on the bed while he was inching lower, closer.

"… having a red stone instead of a heart…"

The warmth was irresistible. It drew Envy even closer yet still not touching, feeling Edward's breath against his skin while the latter looked at him, stunned.

"… prevents from…"

The Sin's left hand rested on Edward's shoulder while his right one finally closed at the back of the blond's neck, and he bent forward just a bit more.

"… feeling."

With this last word, Envy closed the space between their lips, earning a soft moan from the blond young man who was still frozen. Envy's mind was a storm of contradictions. His conscience, clouded by the warmth radiating from Edward, merely said _'I think you are kissing Edward Elric…'_ without that much shock. His ego screamed in vain something along the lines of _'What the goddamit fuck are you doing, for the sake of all that is sacred ?'_ while the part of him he couldn't name to save his life which craved Edward's light and warmth exploded in glee. He almost jerked away when he felt an arm sneaking around his waist, a metal hand clutching his back, and Edward… _kissing back_, but quickly reacted when he felt those wonderfully soft and warm lips parting, allowing him inside the oh-so-hot mouth, tasting sweet and warm and definitely _Edward_.

Edward didn't know what he was doing. His left arm supported him now that his right had caught the Sin at the waist on its own accord. _Automail react strangely_, he thought, very far away from reality. _Must talk to Winry about it…_ The feeling of Envy's tongue against his, exploring his mouth, was almost too much for him. He melted completely, throwing his mind in the nearest closet of his head, responding eagerly to the Homunculus' kiss. The need for air parted them, gazing into each other's eyes. Envy looked at him intensely, before… disappearing through the window, the ghosts of his fingers still onto the Alchemist's shoulder and neck. Edward was panting slightly, still wondering what had just happened, for God's sake, staring at the window without actually seeing it.

Outside, Envy was running, his androgynous body soundlessly moving through the night. He was a bit frantic, to say the least. Driven by that utterly wonderful warm light, he had actually kissed Edward Elric. Envy. Kissed. Edward. Three words which should never be used in the same sentence. Yet, his craving for the boy's light had lessened, and a strange feeling where his heart should be told him, first, that he actually _could_ feel second, that he should have listened to Lust's warning. _"Be careful, Envy… Desire is the first step to Love…"_

TBC


	2. Edward's Denial

_Hello in there! Took me some time to get back Internet access, and I only got it since about half an hour, but this one was written, so... The previous chapter was mostly Envy-centric, this one's from our dear Edward's point of view. I've had some trouble dealing with this one, I didn't really know how to continue it without making the whole story off-time. I'm not **that**_ _satisfied with it, anyway, but I felt too lazy to erase it and re-write it entirely..._

_Well, I hope you'll enjoy this one as much as the first. There's another chapter in-progress, and that will be the last one. Reviews make me happy. If the display of feelings is too pathetic, tell me. If my English sucks, tell me. If you think there is something clumsily written, understandable with difficulty, just weird or anything like that, tell me. If you just want to flame, well I can't stop you, can I? But you'll just be ignored in this case. Don't like, don't read! And finally, if you enjoyed it and are looking forward for the third chapter, tell me too, that's encouraging!_

_Warnings: Shonen-ai, EdxEnvy. OOC-ness, I'm afraid. Not AU, but not so canon either. Oh well. Just go on with the story!_

_Nevermore._

_

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_Desire Is The First Step To Love

Chapter 2 : Edward's Denial

It's been about two weeks now. Two weeks since Edward found Envy sitting at his bedside, talking quietly to himself (or so he thought) ; two weeks since he realized the Homunculus wasn't only a soulless monster who couldn't feel anything other than his own hatred ; two weeks since Alphonse, back from wherever he had been since he couldn't sleep, found him still staring at the window, gazing blankly at the night ; two weeks since… _what happened_, the Sin apparently too attracted by the… _light_, or whatever he said that he saw in the young man, to resist his impulse. _A fucking butterfly attracted against his will by the fucking candle_, he had said. The first real _desire _he'd had since he became a Homunculus. He'd wanted, envied, hated, but never desired. From what Edward had understood.

When Al had asked him if anything was wrong, that night, Edward had found the wits to smile a bit and answer calmly that he had been awoken by a dream, before laying back on the bed, still overwhelmed by the sensations kissing Envy – _kissing Envy_, for God's sake – had brought in him. He still remembered freezing in slight shock when the Sin had come closer, bits by bits, still talking softly, and his bewilderment when a soft and dry pair of lips had closed on his own. That, he still could understand. Even though would have someone told him that Envy, of all people, was attracted to him, he would have laughed his head off or simply kicked their ass to hell and back. No kidding. What Edward still failed to explain was that spark, then that kind of electric current not that different from alchemy which overtook his senses and led him into kissing back and letting the Homunculus explore his mouth.

Edward shrugged that train of thoughts quickly, shoving the reminiscence of these feelings back into one of the convenient closets of his mind and concentrating on the landscape by the train's window. He and Alphonse were on their way to Resembool. Something snapped into his automail while training, and he couldn't stretch his arm fully anymore. Winry was certainly going to yell at him and try to knock him out with one of her wrenches, but, heh, what was he supposed to do ? He sighed at the prospect of another yelling contest with his blond mechanic.

"Something wrong, brother ?" Al asked.

Had his face been able to move, surely enough a frown would be on his brow.

"No, I'm just already tired at the idea of Winry yelling at me for 'breaking her wonderful creation one more time and certainly not the last'."

He stretched cat-like, his flesh arm fully extended before him while the metal one rested still at his side. Al chuckled.

"Well, you know her," he said. "It wouldn't be the same Winry if she didn't try to kill you each time you burst your arm, would it ?"

"Still, that's something I won't miss," Edward grumbled. "Hey, we're almost there, by the way…"

They got out of the train, crossed the small station and began their way to the Rockbell's. Edward took a deep breath and turned slightly around.

"Nothing never change in there… It's still the same than when we were little, don't you think ?"

Alphonse looked around thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I do. That's somehow comforting," he said, voice softened and just a bit hollow.

As he finished his last word, something flew towards them, and more particularly towards Edward, who turned quickly on himself in a smooth motion at the whistling sound. The object missed him by a hair's breadth.

"AHA !" he said loudly, pointing at Winry who stood on the balcony, leaning on the banister. "This time, you didn't break my skull, you crazy automail junkie !"

"Stop it, you alchemy freak, or I'll throw more until your own brother can't recognize you ! And bring this one back !"

She disappeared into the house. Edward went and picked up the wrench, grumbling something apparently not very nice. Pinako was waiting for them at the door.

"Welcome back, boys ! Did you break your arm again, Ed ? Someone's not going to be happy…"

"She's not," Edward grinned somewhat sheepishly, showing the wrench while Al greeted the old woman. "But she needs to improve her throwing, she missed me this time…"

"Do you imply I have a bad aiming ?" said Winry, coming into view, fastening her sleeves around her hips.

"Did I say that ?"

The girl looked suspiciously at her friend's innocent eyes, then smiled, false anger completely gone.

"So, what did you do to your poor automail this time ?"

~o~

Later on the evening, Winry managed to fix the problem (_"Just a screw stuck, really, Ed, couldn't you fix it yourself ?"_) and reconnected the automail to Edward's nerves, making him wince a bit at the sharp pain. They had dinner, in a rather joyful atmosphere, then went to bed after a while. However, three hours later, at precisely one o'clock and a half in the morning, Edward was still restless, lying wide awake, trying to shut his brain up and at last gain some sleep. He stared through the open window, but it only reminded him of Envy, and he really, really didn't want to replay the scene in his mind again. _Again._ Helplessly, he closed his eyes, remembering what the Sin had said, his confession of feeling something else than hatred and revenge, because of him, even if he still didn't entirely grasp that thing about his radiating light or something, the strength and determination that fascinated the Homunculus, this thing about desire and love, Envy's wondering about the latter…

Edward had been far from thinking his willpower would some day draw someone into its halo, let alone a Homunculus. Now, he thought he understood. There had been something about Envy back then, bitterness and hatred aside, as if his true self was ready to take over the violent nature of the Homunculus and let him feel anew. A sparkle, barely… Something not really visible, but rather sensible. Suddenly thinking that, according to the Sin, he was the cause of this… _revelation_, Edward felt the strange urge to know if he could dig in and reveal this small flicker of – light ? feeling ? _humanity _? – for good, and pull Envy out of darkness. Telling himself firmly that he was being irrational, Edward set the urge aside, but his traitorous mind decided otherwise. A quick flash showed him the Homunculus bending over him, slowly coming closer. Another, with physical sensations as a bonus, a palm merely brushing his cheek. A hand on his shoulder, another on the nape of his neck, Envy's face so very close. Lips on his.

Lips on his, and this electricity, sort of, a bit like alchemy, from one to the other and back again. Not out of place, not utterly wrong, but so wrongly _right_. As if it was how it was supposed to be on all eternity, even though they both were conscious of the weirdness of the situation. Edward tried to get back to reality, but his mind wasn't finished with him. Sensations, touches, all was there. His arm catching the other by the waist, feeling him jump a bit, him parting his lips a bit more… _There._ Both jaws opening slightly more, tongues meeting, gently battling, Envy exploring his mouth, making the whole thing wet and hot and _sensual_…

Edward jerked up, sitting hurriedly, forcing himself back to the real world, breathing a bit too quickly, warmth pooling below his belly. _This is not right_, he thought desperately, _I shouldn't react like that, I shouldn't think like that !_ He just refused to go deeper, he felt like he could get lost and never come back safe and sound. Or sane. So he decided that it had been just a strange reaction, completely alien and random, that will absolutely _not _last, period. Unfortunately for him, auto-suggestion was hard to apply when his head denied what had resulted in his body aroused, craving for a touch. Getting up in order to clear his mind, he thanked Leto, Ishbala and anyone who might dwell above his head that his and Al's former room had a direct access to the balcony, and therefore to the outside. And also that said Al wasn't in the room right at the moment to witness his restlessness, let alone his train of thoughts.

Leaning against the banister, he took a deep breath, letting the air of the night cool his over-heated body and clear his clouded mind. He stayed like that for maybe half an hour, feeling the fresh air fill and leave his lungs, his body relax and his mind calm down. He heard the small tap of someone landing behind him, but didn't move. If the person took the precaution of letting him acknowledge their presence, then he wasn't in immediate danger.

"Edward Elric ?"

That was less a question than a recognition. Edward turned around, crossing his arms, but careful not to appear ready to attack.

"What do you want ?" he asked sharply.

Lust held her hands up to show that she was not here to fight. Her usually smirking lips were slightly pursed, and something in her eyes could only be described as worry.

"I need your help."

Edward arched an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side.

"Really ? I was far from thinking I would be the one you would ask for help, but well… What makes you think I'll agree to help, anyway ?"

The attractive Homunculus looked at him seriously for a while, then opened her mouth.

"It's about Envy," she said quietly, studying his face carefully.

She wasn't disappointed. Edward's eyes widened a bit, then he frowned, muscles tightening as he clenched his fists.

"What about him ?" he asked, and only someone paying close attention as Lust was could notice the slight trembling in his voice.

_So, something really happened_, she thought. Envy had told her bits and pieces of his obsession as time passed, and he quickly brushed her a picture when he came back to the manor that night, nervous and a bit frantic.

~o~

_Lust was sitting on an armchair, gazing thoughtfully into the fire when she heard the main door open, then close. Turning her head, she caught a glimpse of Envy before he disappeared through the hallway leading to the wide stairs. She listened his hurried footsteps until the faint sound of a door closing reached her ears. She frowned. Something must have happened, for Envy coming back so soon, hurriedly, locking himself up into his room, and most of all, without ranting about one thing or another. She stood up, walking quietly up the stairs, before knocking softly at Envy's door._

_"Envy ?" she called._

_No answer. She opened the door, stepped inside, closed it. The whole room was dark, but the moonlight was enough for her to spot on the bed the curled up ball that was actually her oldest 'brother'. She sat at his side, resting a hand on his arm._

_"Are you alright ?" she asked softly. "Did something happen ?"_

_Envy stayed still a few minutes more, then uncurled to sit up, bringing his knees up his chest, resting his chin upon them and hugging his legs with his arms. Lust thought that he never looked so vulnerable. He actually resembled a little boy, despite his height, his long hair and his definitely strong but thin frame, and Lust fought the sudden strange urge to take him into her arms. He looked at her unsurely._

_"You were right," he said very, very softly._

_She watched him expectantly. He sighed deeply._

_"I was watching him. Like always, shit, you'd swear he'd become the centre of my world, how pathetic it is… This time, the… the craving was too strong," he continued, and she nodded. He told her about that strange longing already. "I went into the room, I sat up on the floor, and began talking, like the silly prat I am. I spilled out a lot of things, from what I see in him to my don't understanding and wanting to understand, from him radiating light and warmth and me helplessly attracted by it to the fact I've never desired something more than being close to this light, from you telling me that desire was so close to love to my wondering if I loved him…"_

_At that point, Lust's eyes widened._

_"Yeah, I know, that's moronic," Envy said flatly. "I just couldn't stop myself. But the best part is yet to come : the whole time, I didn't realized he was actually awake !"_

_He buried his head into his knees, black-greenish hair covering almost everything._

_"What did you do then ?" she asked after a while._

_"I nearly fled. What would you have done ? But he told me there was no need to. I felt so… so… Well, the light was still clutching at me, so I stayed. We talked. A bit. I suddenly realized he had heard the whole part with me rambling on and on about love, I told him I couldn't do anything about this attraction, then…"_

_Envy's eyes widened, closed, re-opened._

_"Then I did another really stupid thing, and I left."_

_And she couldn't bring him to tell her what it was._

~o~

But right now, as Edward watched her as he waited for her to tell him what was wrong with Envy, his left fingers ghosting unconsciously over his lips, Lust suddenly realized what it had been. She stopped a smile from reaching her lips, then focussed again on Envy's state, and her frown reappeared.

"He is… sick, for lack of a better word."

"Sick ? How could a Homunculus get sick ?" Edward stated incredulously.

"That's why I added _for lack of a better word_, you know. He's not sick like a human would. His body started to reject his stones," she explained calmly, inwardly sighing when the Alchemist's eyes widened. "Listen, I don't have time to explain everything to you. Let's say that his body rejects the stones, and with them his Homunculus nature, because you brought him to feel human emotions again," she said bluntly.

Edward was gaping. His brain was locked on the _too much information_ pattern, and he struggled to gather his wits.

"How do I know it's not another twisted plan to get me and Al do what you want ?" he demanded somewhat suspiciously.

Lust only stared.

"Because we have no orders. Our… Master is gone and left us behind. But I couldn't take that risk. Should they come back and realize Envy's going weak, they would seal him away to study him, or worse, simply destroy him. Even the others don't know. I didn't tell them. They probably think he's brooding over something or off somewhere as usual. And before you ask, I care because Envy's the one who helped me through the first times of my transformation. I trust him, and I know he trusts me to some extent. I can't let him be killed just because he's not useful anymore to our Master's eye."

Edward swallowed his question back.

"By the way," the female Sin said, a small smile on her lips, "how did you know Envy wasn't here to kill or trick you in some way ?"

Edward stared at her, slightly gaping. Because if Envy had wanted to kill him, he would have done so while he was still asleep ? Because regular Homunculi couldn't talk about emotions like they were actually feeling them ? Because the Sin had been too troubled to be acting ? Because…

"Because I felt it…" came the murmured answer.

"Then, what do you feel know ?"

Edward looked right into her gaze, eyes radiating, and, a fraction of second, Lust understood Envy.

"I feel like I should believe you," he said firmly.

Well, he didn't really have a choice, and something was inciting him to accept. Something he did not wish to acknowledge. Yet. Or ever.

"Good," Lust said, and the first true smile he had ever seen her give spread on her lips. "I left him near the trees over there," she motioned towards the forest, before jumping down the balcony, followed by the blond Alchemist. They landed gracefully and soundlessly, and soon they were walking briskly towards the trees.

While approaching the edge of the forest, he spotted Envy's motionless form sprawled against a trunk. His steps hurried up a bit, and before he could really acknowledge what he was doing, he was kneeling at his side, his left hand resting on a pale and cold forearm. The Sin was unconscious, sweating, hair damped and sticking everywhere, on his face, his forehead, his neck, his shoulders and arms… Edward looked up at Lust who gazed back at him.

"He stopped throwing up stones a while ago, but he's unconscious since. But I think that's alright. His body needs to regain strength, losing stones is like transforming back into an almost human frame. Only the one on his chest remains now," she explained to the still silent young man.

"Have you tried to feed him some more stones ? That's how it works, doesn't it ?"

"Pointless. He would reject them as well. What he needs is rest, but he's not immortal anymore. Since he has no stone left expect the one that keeps him whole, if he dies now he will be dead for good. That's why I came to you," she said, tugging slightly at her hair as if frustrated. "I couldn't let him where our Master would have discovered his power loss."

"I understand," said Edward, and he meant it.

His eyes fell back on Envy, and something twisted inside him, somewhere between his heart and his stomach. He couldn't stop his hand from tucking a wild bang behing the Homunculus' ear, and at that precise moment, decided to give in the urge to make him well and bring him into whatever light he seemingly possessed. He looked up at Lust, meeting her knowing eyes, and he wriggled a bit under this gaze he didn't know what to think of.

"Tell me, Fullmetal," she began, a small smirk tugging the right corner of her mouth upward, "you also seem changed…"

He didn't answer at first.

"I felt it. Something changed, in him," he explained awkwardly under Lust's questioning eyes. "It was… different from what it had been. He seemed… lost, maybe. Disconcerted. Almost… _human._ And I felt the need, somewhat, to help him, to give him what he needed, if I could, because while listening to him I was… intrigued, and…" he hesitated, searching for his words. " … drawn to whatever I apparently had woken up in him, and I wanted to try and light him whole… It seemed the right thing to do."

"Do you think kissing him also was the right thing to do ?"

Edward nearly choked. He stumbled back to his feet, eyes wide, staring at her.

"How do you… What… Did he… ?"

"No, he didn't tell me that. I guessed, and apparently I was right…"

Her smirk was still in place, but she didn't add anything. The boy would soon enough realize that his denied urge to bring Envy into his own halo (that he still didn't really know he had) was leading to something else. She didn't know what to think about it, but what must happen will happen, and she wasn't one to try and stop it. She suddenly saw the young man like Envy must, golden eyes lively, hair of a warm blond hanging below his shoulders, skin slightly tanned, radiating strength and warmth and light that spread through the atmosphere. The sight quickly faded, and she blinked.

"So, can I trust you with him ?" she asked.

Edward, who had been still staring at her open-mouthed, looked at the Sin's pale features, then bent down and gathered him into his arms before lifting him up, bride style.

"You can," he told the female Homunculus, looking seriously at her.

Seeing his arms tightening a bit, protectively and unconsciously, she gave him a tired smile.

"Good," she said, before stepping in the shadows and disappearing from sight.

Edward began walking back to the Rockbell's house, Envy still unconscious and cradled into his arms, his head resting on the blond Alchemist's shoulder. He sighed, then thought that he was going to have a lot of things to explain to his worried brother, his impassive Granny and his cranky – from being woken up at two and a half in the morning – mechanic, and, not noticing that he held the Sin even more closer, wondered what he has just gotten himself into.

TBC


	3. Icarus' Fall, Enlightened Wound

_Hi everyone. I am very sorry for the delay *bows deeply* but I was unable to login on the site for a few days, and when I managed, at last, to do so, the site refused to let me upload documents... I was very frustrated, because I really wanted to be done with it. Anyway, here it is, the third and last chapter of this short story. I thought about transforming it into a real multi chapters story, but I would have had to redo everything to insert a plotline, and I didn't want it to spoil the original idea, so I may write another story, longer, along the same lines but with a plot. This one will stay rather plotless, but I really hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it._

_Random warnings: the usual yaoi/shonen-ai thing. Let's also say that this one IS the reason I rated the story M at first (I maybe unconsciously knew that I was going to write more than one chapter...). Since I forgot to mention it before, of course I don't own what is Arakawa-sensei's, I just borrowed it from her a bit to satisfy my craziness as well as readers who might like this kind of thing._

_Oh, and while I'm at it, this story DOES NOT END WELL. I classified it as drama. I can write fluff, but I'm tired of happy endings happily-ever-after which sometimes is misplaced at the very end of a brilliant fanfiction. I was myself a bit surprised at how it came out, but the idea just popped in my head and wouldn't go away. So, hope you'll enjoy it anyway..._

_And if anyone spots typo mistakes, or abused grammar, or anything, let me know. Reviews are still very appreciated. Now I free you of my endless talking, let's read._

_Nevermore_

_

* * *

_

Chapter 3 : Icarus' Fall (Enlightened Wound)

Edward's mind was a bit clouded, to say the least, and he only realized that he was about to reach the house when he spotted the metallic figure of his younger brother bursting through the front door, Winry following. Still he wasn't very responsive, the only thing he was able to concentrate on was the queer sensation of Envy pressed against him, cool skin on his bare chest, the Sin's long bangs caressing his shoulder and tickling his side. Alphonse stopped in front of him and began talking, but his words couldn't get through the mental fog that covered Edward's conscience since he began walking while carrying Envy in his arms, and only the sound of his voice reached his conscience. The blond Alchemist absent-mindedly let his gaze trail along the Homunculus' frame, and jumped when two metallic hands clutched his shoulders, coming back abruptly to reality.

"Brother ?" said Al, bending over and staring into Edward's eyes. "Were you even listening ?"

He sighed. The obviously clueless expression on his brother's face was the only answer he needed.

"You shouldn't have gone like that without telling anyone," he said, his hands falling back at his sides. "Now, could you explain to me why you are coming back carrying_ Envy _?"

Edward looked again at said Sin, then closed his eyes, sighed and met Al's gaze.

"Long story," he said, and, passing round his brother, climbed the few steps and entered the house.

Winry, who had gone to get Pinako while Alphonse talked to Edward, was in the middle of the hallway. She stared at the motionless form in her friend's arms, opened her mouth to say something, but something about his expression made her stay silent. Edward went up stairs and into the guest room which was almost never used, managed to pull the covers on the bed down with one foot, and laid Envy on the mattress. He covered the Homunculus from waist to toes, then sat at his side. Something strange twisted in his chest when he noticed that the Sin's skin was almost as white as the pillow. _He never appeared so… vulnerable_, he thought. From what he had seen, Envy had always been strong and untouchable, but right now… And during That Night, when he had silently listened the Sin talking and revealing things he didn't know he was able to think – _feel_ – and his precise analysis of those feelings… Edward had understood then that there was much more about Envy than meet the eye.

And what Lust had told him… Was he really responsible for these changes ? Edward sighed, and set his eyes back on Envy. He remembered that sparkle apparently ignited by him in the Sin, when they were close, chasing a bit of the darkness away, and the urge to make a flame of this small flicker came back, impulsive and demanding. He brought his hand near Envy's face, but didn't really know what to do with it. The first thing that came to his mind was to brush the long dark hair, and so he did, his fingers barely touching the still soaked strands, soft like wet silk. A hesitant step behind him, and he turned his head to see Winry.

"Ed ?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah, I'm coming. I think I owe you all an explanation."

He got up and followed his blond mechanic down stairs, in the living room where Pinako and Al were already sitting, certainly waiting for him. He sighed inwardly. This was going to be long. He went to the nearest window and gazed through the glass in the darkened landscape, arms crossed, resting his weight on his automail leg. There was a moment of silence.

"Brother ?"

Al's voice broke the silence.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Ed…"

That was Winry.

"Who is he, exactly ?"

"Envy. He is a Homunculus," Edward said bluntly.

No need to beat around the bushes. This situation was awkward enough.

Another silence.

"But… Aren't they those people…"

The blond girl's voice was unsure.

"Who are after us, either trying to kill us or to manipulate us, yeah."

Edward swirled around and leaned his back on the window, facing them.

"Okay, listen. Al, remember that night in that village when you found me awake, window open, and asked me if I was alright ? About two weeks ago ?"

"Yes, I remember," the boy in the armor answered. "But what does it have to…"

"That night, I saw Envy. I didn't want to worry you, so I didn't say anything."

_That's pretty much the truth, anyway_, he thought wryly. If Al's eyes could widen, they would have done so.

"You saw him ? But… What, he did nothing to you ?"

Edward quickly repressed a cynical snicker.

"No. He talked. He thought I was asleep, but I woke up a bit after he came into the room, I think. He…"

He ran a hand into his loose hair, slightly frustrated. What could he say ? 'So he kept talking, he said that he was attracted to me and that he couldn't do anything about it, he realized I was awake, then he kissed me, and I strangely kissed him back' ? No way.

"When he realized that I had heard everything, he wanted to leave. I think I wasn't really supposed to hear what he was saying. And what he said back then… I realized there was something different about him, something more than his usual psychotic, hateful self…"

"How did he get here, anyway ?" Winry asked.

"Another Homunculus brought him. Lust," he said for Alphonse. "You know what Homunculi are, don't you ?" he asked Winry and Pinako.

"Artificial humans," said the old woman. "A body, a mind, but no soul."

"Yes," said Edward. "They need to be fed red stones to gain power and strength. The only stone they have when they are created is one in their chest, like a heart but not quite. Lust told me that because of the changes in Envy, his body started to reject the stones, and therefore, his Homunculus nature, and that she couldn't afford their master to see him weakening, because Envy is like a brother to her or something... She didn't tell the other Homunculi anything, she just came to me because I was the only one she could trust with him… I know that's strange," he said quickly when he spotted their dubious expression, "but I just _know_ that's not a trick, I saw him, he's really weak right now, no one could act that way…"

He rubbed his automail shoulder unconsciously.

"Look, it's complicated, but I just ask you to trust me, okay ? If something goes wrong, you still can blame me and beat me to death, but I know this isn't going to happen."

They stayed silent for awhile, then Al got up.

"Brother," he said, "if you trust him, right, even if I'm a bit skeptical, _I_ trust _you_. If you say there's no trick, then I believe you."

"Well, I'm more than skeptical," Winry added, "but since you seem to care that much, I agree with Al."

Pinako was still silent. She looked at Edward seriously, then got up.

"He can stay until he's better, if you trust him."

The young blond man closed his eyes and brought a hand over them.

"Thank you for trusting me…" he murmured while the old woman was leaving the room.

"Well," Winry said, "I'm going back to sleep now."

And she left too. There was a moment of silence.

"There's something you didn't tell us, right ?" Alphonse asked quietly.

Edward didn't answer and kept his eyes covered. His brother had always been too perceptive for his own good.

"That's alright if you don't want to talk about it. Just, remember we're here if you want to. I know you wouldn't do that if you weren't sure about it."

Edward only moved when the heavy footsteps of Al's armor stopped, most certainly because he had gone to bed to rest, if not to sleep. Leaning his bare back against the cold glass of the window, letting his hand and arm fall slack at his side, he tilted his head up, staring at the ceiling. What was this irresistable urge to take care of the Sin, again ? Thinking of Envy, his apparent helplessness, his confession, his troubled mind, made something in him twinge one more time. Edward was midway up the stairs before he could remember when he bagan walking, but felt too tired to investigate. His legs led him back into the guest room, where the pale Homunculus was laying, immobile. The young Alchemist sat on the edge of the bed, slightly turned so that he could see the other, and stared.

Well, let's say he did. More precisely, his eyes roamed endlessly along Envy's frame and features, taking on small details that he usually wouldn't have noticed. Envy's eyelashes were thick, dark and rather long, and even though his eyes were actually closed, Edward just knew they added some intensity into the Sin's gaze. His collarbones stuck out visibly beneath the sleeveless semi-turtleneck, and his stomach was really flat, ghosts of abs patterning the apparently smooth flesh. His hands were narrow and delicate, and on top of his long fingers, his nails were almost almond-shaped. When he began setting his interest on the slender waist and half-visible hipbones, Edward groaned, tore his eyes elsewhere and rubbed his temple. _Wake up_, he thought harshly to himself, _it's not before you kissed him once that now you have to begin being… what ? Attracted ? … Nevermind. He's changed, in his mind, in his personality, and you understood it, and since he's not a psychotic killer anymore, you feel like you have to help him, that's all… THAT'S ALL !_

Great. Now he was having conversations with his own mind.

"You'll drive me insane," he muttered, glancing at Envy.

He gazed trough the window, and let his mind wander. He couldn't tell how many time he stayed like that, but he suddenly felt dizzy, his eyelids shutting on his own will, his body, succumbing to sleep, falling sideway, and the feeling of sheets under his cheek was the last thing he remembered before he gave in and sank into Morpheus' arms.

~o~

Homunculi didn't need to sleep. They could, of course, as they could eat if they wanted to, but wouldn't resent being deprived of it. That's why usually, their sleep was light, for their mind wasn't far under the surface just because their body didn't _need_ to rest. Also, Homunculi didn't dream. Dreams were induced by feelings and emotions, and one requires a soul in order to feel. Homunculi lacked souls, thus they didn't dream. Since they don't have dreams to slowly leave before waking up, when Homunculi awake, they regain instantly all their senses and wits, brutally, and they are immediatly able to think, fight and act. Envy hadn't been one to be different. Now he was, and the cause of it undoubtedly has blond hair and striking golden eyes.

Envy was dreaming, for once, of warm light surrounding him and of sunbeams gently caressing his not-cold-anymore skin, and while his consciousness came back bits by bits, the dream fading away, the first thing that reached the Sin's mind was that the warmth was still there. That meant it was real, didn't it ? Now slightly more conscious, Envy noticed a presence beside him, and he realized the warmth was coming from that same presence. Still in slumber, without opening his eyes, he turned on his side, curled up a bit and snuggled as close as he could against that warm comforting form, resting his forehead on something both hard and soft. His mind barely registered it certainly was _someone_ he was nearly gluing himself to, but he felt so good lying there that he began falling back into sleep.

The Homunculus mumbled something unintelligible when he half-consciously felt the figure next to him shifting a little, frowned when a weight – lukewarm _metal_, intuition told him – was thrown across his waist, not _that_ cold, but almost, compared to where he was pressing his face ; but sighed in contentment when that weight rested on his back, pulling him even more closer into the warmth. Feeling it radiating, heating his skin wherever he touched it, Envy breathed in a scent of cinammon, honey and sunbathed fruits he remembered but couldn't place a picture on. Letting his body relax completely, he went back to sleep more blissfully than he ever did.

~o~

The first thing Edward saw, when he cracked open one of his eyes, was deep emerald hair spilled everywhere, obscuring his vision. He backed up a little, realizing that his cheek also rested on some black-greenish strands, and could only stare when he noticed his automail arm securely wrapped around Envy, cradling the Sin very close to his chest. Said Sin was nuzzled against him, slightly curled up, arms held to his chest and hands in loose fists. His face was peaceful, his lips parted a bit, and Edward thought haphazardly that he he looked like a child, an innocent one. Shaking his head and wondering why the hell he had used such paradoxical terms as _innocent_ and _Envy _in the same sentence, he let go of the Homunculus and began getting up, before freezing. First of all, how did he end up sleeping with Envy in his arms ? _I must have fallen asleep while I was still sat near him, and while being asleep I moved unconsciously… Yeah, that must be it…_

Getting up slowly, cautious not to wake the Sin up (he still needed rest, right… Right ?), he let him sleep and made his way to the door, bare chest, bare feet, hair loose and ruffled, only boxers-clad. He shut the door silently and went down stairs to get the breakfast his stomach was already demanding. Seeing Winry in the kitchen, he grumbled something before opening the fridge and reaching for the bottle of orange juice.

"Still too much asleep to remember how to greet someone properly, Ed ?" said the blond girl, grinning widely. "What are you doing with the orange juice, anyway ?"

Edward turned his head, giving her a confused look.

"Er, breakfast ?"

She rolled her eyes.

"It's past noon, you moron, we're having lunch in twenty minutes."

"Already ?" A sigh escaped the blond Alchemist's lips. "Well, I didn't sleep that much last night, so it's normal I woke up later than usual…"

Winry's eyes became serious.

"By the way, how is… Envy, that's it ?"

"It is. He needs rest," he shrugged. "He's still asleep. I'll grab a shower before lunch, if you don't mind," he added, scratching the back of his head and heading to the stairs.

"Right," Winry said.

When he disappeared from sight, her gaze remained thoughtfully fixed on the door. Edward didn't know that this morning, when she woke up, Al was already in the living room, and told her that Edward didn't come back to their room last night, or rather very early this morning. She said that he may have stayed near the Homunculus he brought mysteriously back from the night, and went to check the guest room. Edward didn't know that she creaked the door open, enough to see the two figures embracing each other, and, apparent even in sleep, the sheer possessiveness of his automail holding the Sin protectively tight.

Something was going on. Winry could sense it, she could _feel_ it in the air, but whatever it was, she couldn't tell yet.

~o~

Envy opened his eyes. He found himself rested and alert, surprisingly enough. He sat up and stretched cautiously ; his muscles protested a bit, but he felt no pain. His glanced at his surrounding, looking at the window and guessing from the sun's position that it was maybe three o'clock in the afternoon, more or less. He wasn't hearing anything, nobody seemed to be in the house. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, the Homunculus got up and walked to the window. He felt a little drained, but nothing that would last. There was something different, though, not really like something missing, but close enough…

"At last, you got up. I was wondering if you still needed more rest."

Startled, Envy turned around, and his eyes fell on Edward, who was leaning his right shoulder on the door's frame, arms crossed. The Sin hadn't heard him coming and opening the door. He studied the blond young man for a while, finally getting used to being fascinated each time he sees him, then let out an imperceptible sigh, crossed his arms and, glancing once again at the room, opened his mouth.

"Where are we, anyway?"

"Resembool," came the steady answer. "My native little village."

The Sin frowned slightly.

"Oh, yeah, I remember Lust telling me that she couldn't leave me in the state I was and that she was going to ask you for help…"

"And you agreed with that ?" Edward's voice was just a tad taunting, but without malice. "I thought I wasn't your favorite person in the world…"

The look in his eyes denied his words. He knew, he _felt_ that something crucial had changed in their relationship, and he was cleverer than to try and be blind to it. Moreover, that little incident a fortnight ago, even if not voiced, lingered between them, somehow drawing them closer, without their noticing.

"Well, what else could have been done ?" Envy replied, spreading his arms theatrically and making a show of a shrug, finding the remains of his usual sarcastic personality. "You were the only one we could turn to, weren't you ?"

Edward looked into his eyes, both serious and hesitant.

"So, you really are… I mean, the stones…"

"If I lost them ? Yes. Did I lose my numerous spare lives ? Yes. Does it influences my life expectancy ? Not really. If no one kills me, I'll still be immortal. I'm still immune to diseases and other poisons, but if one manages to stab me right in the chest, well, I guess that would be the last time one would be able to do it when I'm still alive…"

"So you don't age, but you can be killed…"

"That's it, Fullmetal. You got it exactly. By the way, aren't there anyone else in here ?"

"Yeah, Al, Winry, my mechanic, and Granny Pinako. They went grocery shopping and dragged my brother with them to carry their stuff. I stayed to look after you," he shrugged.

There was a silent moment, where both Sin and Alchemist stared at each other, until the green-haired Homunculus took one step closer, drifting his eyes away on the floor.

"You know, what you heard me say, that other night…"

Edward tensed slightly, but nodded silently, and Envy caught the motion while glancing a bit nervously at him. The Sin didn't know what was pushing him to talk about it, but it seemed that his tongue stopped obeying his brain, forming words that will obviously weight the atmosphere, but he felt the need to do so.

"I meant it. Every single thing."

"I know." Edward's voice was firm. "I sensed it, I sensed you had something different. You couldn't be lying. Your description of how you were feeling was too… real not to be true…"

"After the… last part of our encounter," the Sin said in a low voice, nearly a murmur, carefully, slowly and a bit awkwardly, "I fled because I was scared of what happened, I wasn't expecting anything like that, but I realized that it was easier to bear that… attraction… than before. I don't really know if it's linked," he added, more for moderating his words than anything else, they both knew it, "but I want to ask you something…"

Edward was looking at Envy. Right in the eyes. Since that night, those words, that kiss, even since he had woken up this morning holding the Homunculus, he had realized that, no matter what, he just wanted to chase the darkness away from him and stay close to prevent it from coming back. He had just been in denial. Now, looking at an unsure and cautious Envy, he felt the urge coming back with all its strength, but stayed still while the Sin struggled with words, and, step by step, began walking towards him.

"Well, you are the one to decide, huh ? But… I feel that's important… Just… Could you… do it… again… Please ?"

A few inches separated them now. Envy itched to reach and touch Edward and his warm brightness, but remained motionless. Now that they were close, he felt like invisible threads was tugging at his body, demanding that he got closer. He inhaled sharply, still looking into Edward's golden eyes. The Alchemist said nothing for a short moment, then lift his flesh arm and slowly rested his hand on the crook of Envy's neck, whose breath accelerated slightly.

"If that's what you want," murmured the young man, his breath caressing the Homunculus' face, "I'll give you light."

With that, tilting his head back a little, he crashed their lips together. The first time they kissed, it was a bit clumsy, hesitant, slow and eventually sensual when they gave up all thoughts and focused on the sensations. But still perfect. This one was fierce and demanding and passionate, and it was even more perfect. Edward's automail wound into Envy's hair while his left hand tensed on the other's shoulder, and the Sin's arms embraced the Alchemist tightly. This time, Edward was in control. He nibbled at Envy's lower lip, licked and elicited a moan from the other. Lips parted, and the blond took his time exploring the other's mouth before wrapping his tongue around Envy's. Now he knew what to expect, and he took advantage of that knowledge. Need for air parted them, foreheads connected, both panting and aroused.

"That's great…" said the Sin, "But what are we doing, now that we are… Hnn…"

He gasped when Edward rolled his hips against his, creating a heated and firm friction that sent spikes of pleasure up their spines.

"What do you think ?" whispered the Alchemist.

His suddenly revealed need to bring the Homunculus close and never let go had washed away everything else.

"You want me, right ?"

His slurry voice sent shivers in the Sin.

"You know what they say. Want. Take. Have. So," Edward practically purred, "you just know what to do…"

That last sentence shut down Envy's brain completely. Growling slightly, he turned Edward around and pushed him back, making him stumble while he was nibbling his neck just below his jaw. The blond fell flat on the bed, and lifted his arms while the other tugged at his black tank top. The piece of fabric was thrown away somewhere, and before Edward could even think 'Philosopher's Stone', his pants were open, and he brought his hips up so that Envy could slip them down his legs. What he didn't expect was the fact that the Sin caught his boxers with his pants' belt, and now he was completely naked, flushed, aroused and panting, sprawled under the heated gaze of his former enemy.

Envy backed up a little, and with a bright blue light, he morphed his own clothes off, and let his eyes roam on the body of the one who had obsessed him for so long, who had made him try and reach the light he was creating, whom he had _desired_ with a passion stronger than any feeling of hatred, and for whom he had begun to feel, even more than desire…

Edward's hair, loose from the hair tie which had snapped somewhere during their heated embrace, was spilled everywhere on the bed, around his head, like a halo. The sight let Envy voiceless, the flush and sheer sensuality mixed with a bit of innocence and curiosity, body warm against his skin and _radiating_, made the Sin capture the blond's mouth hungrily one more time, as if he would never get enough of it. His kiss was responded to eagerly. His lips left the other's and trailed along Edward's jaw, his neck, his shoulders, his collarbones, his nipples, his navel ; kissing, biting, licking, nibbling, while his hands brushed, caressed and teased… His mind was chanting in utter glee, he was shivering with joy and the relieve of _finally_ being able to get close and touch this wonderfully warm being, glowing with light, attractive and comforting, in one word, _delightful_.

One of Envy's hand reached hesitantly the smooth skin of Edward's inner thigh, caressing, before wrapping around his length firmly while his tongue was working on his left nipple. He was rewarded by a groan, a back arching and hips bucking. He stroked there, agonizingly slowly, before bringing his head near the blond's head and letting his hot breath tease the shell of his ear.

"I want to take everything of you… I want you… But I want _you_ to take me…" he whispered, trembling in anticipation.

A golden stare pierced his amethyst eyes, and before he knew it he was on his back, Edward's mouth travelling on his skin, teasing and touching him. The Alchemist's hand ghosted over his belly and reached his erection, gripping the base and stroking up with a slow motion. Envy moaned, then a gasp escaped his lips when a thumb rubbed the tip of his member. Through half-lidded eyes, he saw Edward bring a hand to his lips and suck two fingers, tongue swirling over the tips when he put them out of his mouth. He stared into the Sin's eyes, then bent to kiss him passionately, tongues dancing, while his hand reached between the other's legs and inserted one finger into him.

The sudden feeling made Envy arch his back. This was unusual, but not painful, and the blond's other hand still caressing his body, added to the heated kiss they were sharing, mixed the odd sensation with pleasure. He inhaled sharply when a second finger entered him, and Edward swallowed his gasp. Soon enough, when the blond brushed _that_ spot, the Homunculus was arching and writhing under him, and Edward's own hardness ached at the sight. He touched that special spot again, sending flashes of white in Envy's brain, then withdrew his fingers, making the other whimper a bit at the loss.

Purple eyes, darker than usual due to lust and want, stared at him, and he stared back.

"Edward… I want you… _inside_… now…" the Sin panted, craving for release.

"Everything you want," the blond grinned, positioning himself between his legs.

Their lips locked one more time while Edward entered Envy in one slow thrust. The sensation was sharper than with fingers, the Homunculus felt so full it was almost painful, but when the other began moving inside him, his member pressing against the spot that was sending white lightening into his spine and brain every time it was brushed, pleasure overwhelmed him. He threw his arms around Edward's neck, bringing him close, wounding his hands into his blond bangs and circling his waist with his own legs. The young blond man was panting and hissing unintelligible random words against his lover's neck.

The heat was growing, the friction became nearly unbearable, and in just one more thrust, Envy was coming, arched against Edward's body, eyes closed tightly, arms stiffened around the blond's neck and back. The last part of his mind that wasn't clouded felt the warm light emanating from his lover engulfing him, overwhelming him, and, taking hungrily what it had craved for, faded to leave only pleasure. The sudden contraction of the muscles around him had the Alchemist also coming, biting not that gently into the other's shoulder to contain a scream. They both collapsed afterwards, Edward rolling on his side so that he would not crush the other under him. Propped up on one elbow, the blond let his hand trail along the Sin's chest.

"I reached you." His murmured words were a bit amazed. "I reached you. I managed to get to you, to bring you close…"

He did. Never Envy had felt that complete, that good, that _human._ Turning his head and looking at Edward, he felt something in him, something that now, bathed in light, he wasn't scared to call _love_. He opened his mouth to say something, but the sudden pain in his chest stopped him. A small gasp escaped his lips, and he looked down. Where his heart would have been, had he himself been human, the red stone which replaced it was glowing eerily, red light emanating from under his skin. Hissing in pain, he brought a hand to his chest, while Edward's voice reached his ears without understanding what he was saying. He still felt his warm hand just below his own, which was clutching at his heart.

The sound of something glassy breaking resonated into the room, and the pain became just unbearable. Envy opened his mouth and inhaled noisily, hand clawing at his skin, the other clutching the sheets beneath him. That had been too god to be true. That obviously couldn't last. Too eager to reach the sun, the wax linking the wings to his back melted, the feathers burnt, and now he was falling, falling into eternity. He hastily tilted his head up, staring one last time into those golden pools full of warmth and worry, silently telling them that he had no regrets. His vision narrowed, and he closed his eyes as he was pulled into darkness one more time, feeling two warm hands on the skin of his shoulders. At least he had the answer to his question. Now he knew pretty well that a red stone in one's chest really wasn't fit to feel human emotions. Ever. With that last thought, the fall ended, and everything went black.

The End


End file.
